I was able to tackle hay bright and early this morning. I was hoping to get at least 20 bales put away before I needed help. The Lord granted me strength and energy beyond my expectation... I have done 60 without help! I have asked Bob to get the top row for me and he is more than happy to have so little asked of him, as he has a sinus headache.

It took longer than I would like to admit. I am rather sore. But, I am extremely grateful. Hopefully, I can do another 50+ tomorrow (there are less than 60 left on this load).

Happy Independence Day! Today is a day to celebrate freedom!

My whole being is sickened. Cat #3 is out on the porch as paralysis tries to take over. This time, I found her before she was completely dazed and she greedily accepted the charcoal mixed with food. Her poop was full of bright green pellets. I washed one off... poisoned grain. I guess we now know what the last autopsy didn't find. I am still forcing liquids, still hopeful of recovery but it is not looking good.

I have never been a fan of poison. The forest service in California decided to poison the numerous ground squirrels in our area one year and inadvertently poisoned the birds of prey, snakes, and coyotes who fed on the poisoned rodents. Some said it was an acceptable loss, but it threw the ecosystem out of balance leaving us with far more rodents the next few years.

We lost a dog one year that killed a rodent that had feasted on poison that we didn't realize was nearby until it was too late. His symptoms were different. It could be that this is a different type of poison, but the devastation is the same.

I know that this is one of those risks of having outdoor cats for rodent control. I try not to get attached as there are so many risks that outdoor cats don't have a long life expectancy, but...
One other cat is missing and one of the kittens. I would guess the kitten became owl food... if there are owls around with poisoned grain to contend with...

Well, we have the answer to the cat paralysis mystery. We could potentially rehome the cats and lose our own excellent rodent control, but the dogs... I just pray the dogs don't get a hold of any poisoned rodents. That would be even more devastating than losing the cats. I feel sick.

I had to make this choice again today and I chose to grow. The process can be painful, but worth the effort!

This kitten isn't feeling well. After 24hrs of observation, we are sure she isn't poisoned. We are fairly certain that she isn't sick. Instead, it appears that she is injured somehow. I think either one of the other cats attacked her or she wandered into the barn yard and one of the horses hooves clipped her. She is very sore, but it is hard to determine just where, and can barely stand. Poor baby!

I brought her inside for some wet cat food and a reiki treatment. After an hour of napping on my chest we moved her to the blanket on the couch where she continued to nap for another hour! I guess the reiki treatment was quite relaxing! We will see how she feels later today.

In the mean time, she is back out with her brother who was a bit concerned over where she went... between adventures of porch exploration any way...

This was so precious that I ignored the dirtiness of the door window and took the picture any way.

Bob's caption: It's just you and me now.

Woo-hoo! another certificate

The biggest take away I got from this course was a reminder that when you are on the right path events and plans will flow smoothly, easily, and will be something you love. In the past 20years with my on again, off again attempt at having an essential oil business, I have allowed others to tell me what I need to be doing even when it was super hard for me. Although I have learned a lot in the process, I wasn't having fun and I received very few customers for my efforts. The last couple of years with stepping back and rediscovering myself and my calling has been so much fun! Allowing the Lord to direct my creativity and writing has been quite fulfilling. And, I believe that once I am actually ready to be successful on a new level (and interact with people again) that the Lord will be in charge of those doors as well.

My youngest is applying for a job that requires an extensive background check. One section asks for complete contact information for 3 friends (non-related) that you have known for 7 years. Wow. Attempts are being made to get that contact information, but I was thinking how difficult this one is. We did not really have friends in Oregon (and certainly none that were remotely close to his age). So, his social connections only started after we moved to Madison, SD - not quite 7 years ago!

Thankfully, he has made friends (just need addresses). Me, on the other hand... I just realized that I haven't made any in-person friends (aside from Bob) in that same 7 year time. The few interactions that I have had just never formed into friendships. And, I only made a few in-person friends during the previous 23 years - none that I have any contact with now!

There really are very few people that I am not related to that are still in contact from before my first marriage and that is mostly thanks to Facebook. Regardless of the downsides of all of the hateful people online, I can honestly be quite thankful to be able to remain in contact with my long time friends (online friends and family too!) here.

My youngest is applying for a job that requires an extensive background check. One section asks for complete contact information for 3 friends (non-related) that you have known for 7 years. Wow. Attempts are being made to get that contact information, but I was thinking how difficult this one is. We did not really have friends in Oregon (and certainly none that were remotely close to his age). So, his social connections only started after we moved to Madison, SD - not quite 7 years ago!

Thankfully, he has made friends (just need addresses). Me, on the other hand... I just realized that I haven't made any in-person friends (aside from Bob) in that same 7 year time. The few interactions that I have had just never formed into friendships. And, I only made a few in-person friends during the previous 23 years - none that I have any contact with now!

There really are very few people that I am not related to that are still in contact from before my first marriage and that is mostly thanks to Facebook. Regardless of the downsides of all of the hateful people online, I can honestly be quite thankful to be able to remain in contact with my long time friends (online friends and family too!) here.

I am grateful this morning that our hay guy doesn't need his trailer back right away. I was only able to unload 20 bales this morning. I was feeling rather discouraged needing to quit so soon. Then, it started to sprinkle... I thought: Good! I'm putting the tarp back and going in.

Buddy was less than amused that I brought the kitten inside to determine if she is ready to be moved out of the porch and back to the outdoors. She (I've been calling her Fluffy) is still a little wobbly when trying to run, but seems to be free of pain now.

We will keep Fluffy in for a couple more days and then her and her brother can go back out, giving the mother cat a rest. Mother (Dune) has started allowing these two to nurse (they don't need to) and I don't want her babies to get pushed aside. While I am glad that Dune's motherly instinct finally kicked in (I thought for sure her babies would starve before it did!), there is no need to strain her milk supply. I would rather them all go out, but we don't want to chance Dune getting poisoned before the kittens are old enough to be without a mom.

Indeed. I just got off of the phone with my oldest who shared another layer of problems that I had no idea about when I was married to her father. It's been 7 years since I left and not once has either of my children been remorseful, for which I am very thankful! I don't mind their sharing - it just solidifies how right it was to leave and how much worse it could have been if the Lord had not provided as much shielding as He had. So many Christians speak loudly against divorce and how the Lord can bring you through anything together, but do not stop to consider that sometimes the Lord provides a way out for a reason. Too many "throw in the towel" far too soon, but others... well, we stay a bit too long waiting for it to get better. We can honestly say that we have a lot of fertilizer to work with!

A new picture of us to celebrate our anniversary.

As I was contemplating the last 7 years, I had an interesting thought... there are many references in the Bible showing the 7th day/year being a completion of something or other. I am not superstitious, but I do find it interesting that this is the 7th year of being without the onslaught of daily negativity and it is now that my confidence is re-emerging in many areas. I am looking forward to experiencing what new levels of personal development the rest of this year will bring for me.

I looked into the porch a bit after my youngest got home and growled "what is that?!" Apparently, after losing 5 cats he needed to bring home more cuteness.

This course was difficult for me to follow completely and I have a lot of processing to do. Alhough I agree with the concepts and importance of forgiveness, the teacher believes that we are all divine and doing the best we know how. I disagree. I believe we are all God's children - not divine. And, as sinful creatures, we do NOT all always strive to do the best we know how. This makes forgiveness a little more complicated than the course suggests. However, I am certain that, with a little more contemplation, I will be able to bring the concepts into alignment with my personal experience in Christianity.

One more certificate to go to be a "Master Transformation Life Coach".

"Never give up on something that you can't go one day without thinking about." Even if that thing leaves you hobbling about... My toes are smashed (but not quite broken) because Chrissy didn't want Flicka to grab a bite of "her" hay and I happened to be in the way.

Bob has a fun project that he has been working on for the past several weeks. Bob was at the Worthington airport to schedule a flight when John Armstrong from Proclaim Aviation Ministries (a neighboring business) noticed the logo on his work shirt.

Recognizing that Bob must know about technical internet stuff, he came over to ask a question. That question started a conversation that somehow led to the topic of flight simulators.
John is in the process of building flight simulators to aid in the training of missionary pilots. Bob voiced his understanding of the difficulties involved as he built his own simulator before the idea of becoming a pilot even became a feasible dream – let alone a reality. John then showed Bob the one he was working on that wasn’t quite aligning to show the true pilot experience. Bob helped him with a few adjustments that made a noticeable improvement. Then, Bob was asked if he would like to help with the next one… Yes!

There is a lot involved in building a custom flight simulator including crafting the panels to look and feel like the specific aircraft, wiring it together, and writing the code for the computer software to recognize and interact with every switch, button and lever. Not exactly a point and click game. lol John had a full workshop to use in crafting the panels and Bob thoroughly enjoyed the process. Bob thinks they are about half way done in the building process.

John, an aviation instructor, says that he will even have Bob fly the actual plane (one that Bob has not had the opportunity to fly yet) that this simulator is being built for so that they can make the same adjustments to better prepare the training pilots for the real deal. Bob is certainly excited to be presented with such a wonderful opportunity to share his technical skills in a field he really enjoys… and, of course, to possibly fly a new plane!

There are not very many individuals in the country that are familiar with the details involved in building a custom flight simulator and it is awe inspiring to see the Lord bring these two together via a chance encounter to aid in His ministry! Just WOW!

It's official! I am a Certified Master Transformation Life Coach!

I have not been able to keep up with my garden desires with my personal struggles this year and have had to let most of my garden go. I am down to potatoes, squash, and one tomato plant (with one tiny tomato starting). I really wasn't ready for a garden yet any way.

Even though not much is growing, I still enjoy weeding when frustrated. Well, a couple of weeks ago, I was ripping out weeds, thinking that not a single wildflower seed had germinated, when I had to pause and look closer at the plants... I was shocked. I looked around and recognized that a few of the "weeds" growing had flower buds! then, I noticed a tiny, blooming flower (not pictured) and all of my frustration left.

There are not many flowers out there, but enough to make me smile. ?? Here is one that is now blooming that I had nearly ripped out before I recognized it.

Sometimes, we need to be just a little more patient.

I have been adventurous today!

I left the property for the first time in two months (the second time in four months) and explored a new grocery store without an anxiety attack.

Yep, a little walk on the wild side... lol

22 t-posts in with only 8 more to go for this year. We will have more fencing to do, but it will require the survey to be done (an expense we aren't ready for this year).

I have been placing six step in posts and having Bob check my alignment before putting in the t-posts. I only had one slightly off by the end of the row - a major improvement! We somehow got closer and closer to the ditch, but Bob said unless it really bothers me that it isn't worth adjusting (it's like a six inch difference in 200ft).

After the fencing is attached, I'll be able to start taking down one side of the barn yard fence, pull those stakes, and fill in the holes. Once that is complete, our youngest will have enough space to practice running barrels with Chrissy, as well as other horse related games (hopefully, before winter).

The soil here is simply wonderful to work with! The soil around our mountain home in California turned hard as rock in the summer. I would never have been able to do this (at least, not this time of year)!

I had Bob start the gas powered weed eater this morning so that I could tackle the bigger weeds that the little electric one won't touch. When I returned with it, I let him know that I thought it was out of gas. He looked shocked and said, really? He checked and, yes, I used an entire tank of gas for the first time! But, it may have been a bit much... my arms and wrists are so sore!

This one was fun. I learned that Yoga is not just flexibility poses with interesting names, but is actually a lifestyle. Yoga literally means "union". The lifestyle is about bringing a union or alignment to body and mind. This certainly shows in some of the poses! I had been wanting some very simple poses to work on for balance, but even the basic one that I found on youtube can be rather challenging. This course provided some poses and techniques for me to work with. Plus, the answer to a question I had: How long are you supposed to hold these poses?! (Answer: 3-10 breaths as you are comfortable with). I am glad that I took this course before publishing my book because now I have a few edits to make.

I have roughly 12 hours of instruction to get through and I will have my Spiritual Master certificate. Then, there are two more "master" certificates that I would like to achieve. The first is Wellness. I already know most of the information but I think would be good for a well-rounded holistic coach to have. The second is one that I found just last week called Empowerment. This would be a set of courses that I actually need for my personal development: Confidence, Focus+Breakthrough (of mental blocks) and Empowerment.