My children laugh at me and wonder how I managed to have two
children when it is so obvious that I am not a "kid
person" when stuff like this happen...
I wanted chips and
salsa. My grandson LOVES salsa, so, of course, he wanted some too.
started out well... he was sitting in his chair and me in mine... he
dipped his chip, ate it and went for more. Fine. No problem.
then, he decided to climb on my lap and drop partially eaten chips
into the dish... followed by some pasta... and tofu... followed by
dripping salsa on to my bare leg (just below my shorts).
to my daughter, "Can you get me a wash cloth?" doing my
best not to shudder and cry over the whole ordeal... yes, I was
I tell my kids that it was difficult (I really have
never cared much for children... or many people, for that matter!
), but I did my best (and, yes, there were plenty of runs for the
bathroom and I kept a wash cloth nearby most of the time...) at
least they know I love them
Very frustrating! Over a week ago, I sent my oldest to
the ER. She was having contractions 2 minutes apart for nearly an
hour. They too thought she'd be having her baby. But, she was
dehydrated and they sent her home a few hours later because the
contractions suddenly stopped.
However, she was 75% effaced, the
baby was firmly engaged, and dialated to 3cm. They said any time
Over the past week, there have been at least three nights
where we thought: This is it! Contractions 3 minutes a part for
several hours only to suddenly stop (called stalled labor).
consoled ourselves with the knowledge that this MUST be
progressive... Today was a check up... her dialation is DOWN to 1 cm
and the baby is no longer engaged. Aaargh!
Since the amniotic fluid
is very low and the contractions are not making progress, they have
scheduled a day for inducing.
They are really hoping she doesn't
need a c-section because she is very sensitive to anesthesia... the
epidural did not work during her last delivery and the last time she
had to have a knock out drug she came to with temporary amnesia,
freaked out, fled the hospital, and had to have police help to
locate her during the man hunt... not exactly what anyone wants to
We are all a little disheartened and frustrated
with this news. She really wanted a natural birth this time but we
are grateful for a doctor who is doing her best to keep it as
natural as possible.
I woke up feeling mighty grumpy this morning... you know, ready to
breathe fire type of grumpy...
While I was having my morning coffee,
I heard my grandson playing up in his room. It sounded like he was having
a great time playing with a bowling ball up there - though I
couldn't figure out what he would have that would make that much
When I went up to get him, I discovered what his
"bowling ball" was... his bottle! Formula was
e.v.e.r.y.w.h.e.r.e! my grandson was delighted with the squeaks coming out
Grumpy as I was, I just slowly closed the door without
telling him how naughty he was, and we had breakfast. He had no idea
how lucky he was that I can't really breathe fire.
You know what? I'm done with toxic people. Life is hard enough and I
lived with it for far too long to have much patience left for the
nonsense they do.
My daughter and son-in-law have dealt with one
grief after another with his family from the moment they started
dating and it is just getting worse. They crossed a line today and I
have had enough. I removed each one from my friend's list and have
no desire to spend any face to face time with them. It has been
painful holding my tongue in the few exchanges I've had with them as
My daughter had a discussion going on in the comments of one
of her facebook posts. She had people on her friends list (because
they are "family" that had left some nasty comments to
which some others chimed in in her defense. The conversation got
heated (as sometimes happens) and friends were removed.
that wasn't enough... another family member (not even the one that
got nasty!) decided to find the mailing address of my daughter's
supporter and sent them a glitter bomb package of a tshirt with
crude writing (something that was said in the comments) with a fake
This may have been a great gag gift for good
friends, but certainly not called for in some one you don't know!
And this was over a facebook post! How much worse are they going to
get in person? And this is just the tip of the iceberg!
I'm done with them. It may take the kids a bit longer (family ties
and all, you understand), but I have decided that I don't have to
deal with it any more (other than still being the mop up crew after
something else blows up ).
They have a great support network now,
so I don't feel the need to any more. Yep, these toxic people have
lost the privilege of receiving my absolutely awesome updates and
pictures. So there.
How fun! I got Inspiration™ House!
Your password: A ready mind.
Since you’re full of wit and wisdom, you’re used to being at the top of the class. Ever curious and constantly hungry for knowledge, you’re an incredibly powerful ally when it comes to product knowledge and getting the right answers. Remember to always value learning and to seek out those who appreciate your intelligence.
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I love all the help my little grandson does... he picks things up
and puts them in the trash or laundry many, many times a day. Of
course, he doesn't always get it right... some times he throws the
Finally! I am proud to introduce our newest addition to our family
She arrived 8/12 at 1:34am with a weight
of 7lbs 9ozs and a length of 20in.
my grandson loves getting to
"hold" baby sissy as well as petting her soft hair!
day of her arrival, I was left in charge of my grandson... it was
hectic... there was a dead mouse in his room, he found a screw that
he was carrying around in his mouth for who-knows-how-long, and I
tangled with the newest baby gate - leaving me with a cut on my
shin, a very large bruise on the bottom of my foot, and muscle
spasms that have lasted several days.
I told my daughter that she
better hurry home or her house and son were doomed
It is a restless night for me... I've been bothered by mice and
We've had a mouse problem for several days. The cats
have been playing with one. They've caught it several times, but
ended up releasing it. Aggravating. I'm like: Just kill it already!
My son-in-law saw the mouse dash behind the refrigerator in the
kitchen, so he put out some glue traps... they were supposed to be out
of the way... when I got up, I left the kitchen door open and one of
the cats got a glue trap stuck to her rear. What a mess!
So, he put
the other open trap safely in a drawer in the cabinet. Later, the
mouse was squeaking and squealing. My daughter figured that there
were multiple mice and they were having a fight... when I went to
make supper, I thought the squeaking sounded like it was coming from
I started opening drawers, thinking it had found a way
into one and couldn't get out... I was right. It found it's way to
the glue trap! I was horrified! The poor creature! I cried for the
Thankfully, my son-in-law was home soon afterward and
put it out of his misery. Crying over a suffering mouse. Yep, that's
Thankful that the day was over and the mouse was gone, I went to
bed. I woke up to a rustling sound... what was that? rustle,
rustle... I thought: Ugh! I bet it's a mouse! I flipped on the light
and went to investigate.
I have some candy stashed in my room and a
piece had been drug six inches away from the bag. A mouse was
helping himself to my candy!
Eyes narrowed, I moved the trap that
had been up there for days and baited it with candy... well... this
is a new type of trap that I really didn't understand. It's called a
spin trap. When my daughter found me still up around midnight, she
reset it for me after discovering that the candy was gone.
I'm feeding the very creature that we're trying to get rid of! Oh,
you like candy? Here, let me unwrap that for you.... ugh!
back to bed at one only to wake to an awful smell a bit before four.
I thought: surely the mouse was caught. But, no... the candy lover
had gotten his fill and left the trap alone. The only thing I can
think of is that it must be the cat's flea treatment that was put on
them last night. sigh
I have an air purifier running. Hopefully, the
smell will soon be gone. However, I don't think this grandma is
going to be functioning well at all today.
T-80hrs +/- and counting! (Momma and baby are doing well so I get to
Certain people have given my daughter grief about insisting on a two week period of isolation for those attending the Sturgis rally before allowing them to see her newborn. Good call!
I'm home again Actually, I've been home for days... just been
Although I loved being able to be available to my
daughter and her family, my anxiety was really starting to become a
nuisance and it was taking a toll on my body.
I thought I was
relaxed enough yesterday to start playing catch up... until I opened
the garage door... I had forgotten that I had started to reorganize
in there before needing to help my daughter out... I had a mini
panic attack, backed out, and realized that I had not relaxed nearly
enough to deal with THAT.
And, I have to wonder... I'm sure I
sprinkled pixie dust on every thing before I left... why, oh, why
didn't the fairies come and do their magic while I was away? Do I
have to supervise EVERYTHING?
After the anxiety was triggered
from the garage, I realized the lawn needs to be mowed, the weeds in
the flower bed have gotten out-of-control, the barn needs cleaned
again, we have hay that needs to be delivered, the check book needs
to be balanced, and, and, and... deep breath... I obviously need a
few more days of using CBD and drenching myself in essential oils
before tackling my to-do list
I don't feel too bad about it
though... I have made some improvements - my back isn't spasming as
much and I'm actually sleeping more than four hours at a time again
Thinking about improvements, I just realized that I don't even
feel guilty for needing to take this time to recharge! There were
even a few days at my daughter's that I had to step back and
disconnect for a bit (I told my grandson that I just couldn't handle
being a grandma right then and needed some alone time... he didn't
take it well ).
Yep, I must say that not feeling like I HAVE to
spend every last ounce of energy on everyone else until I am
miserable and incapable of functioning (mentally or physically) is a
great improvement for me. ??
I can hardly wait for Bob to come home
and give him a hug and tell him thank you for his part in that! I
thank my daughter and son-in-law too for letting me rest when I
needed to too.
I finished cleaning out the garage today. I was so excited that I
told Bob to go check it out. He opened the door, stepped inside, and
exclaimed "Holy Cow!" I told him that that was an
My new house! LOL Seriously, though, I wouldn't be able to live in it full time... I get rather claustrophobic
I don't know what the price tag is, but I imagine it's rather close to a home
I've been a little bummed about the prices of property... we found a PERFECT place for us... a few years ago, we had been told we would need 5% down for what we wanted... we are super close, but when I inquired with the bank about the place she set me straight... that 5% down is for acreage with a house and garage ONLY. No barn, no shed, no outbuildings of any sort. Ugh! Sooo many rules and hidden fees! Sigh.
New plan. Looks like we'll be staying in town and continue to board the horses. It has been working. Just disappointing thinking that you're close to your goal, only to find out you're not nearly as close as you thought.
It's hard for many to understand that religious trauma doesn't mean you've turned your back on God or that you've fallen from grace. You come to Him just as you are moment by moment... and some moments (that can turn into years) may feel that it is a very distant relationship, but there can still be a connection - even without reading the Bible, singing hymns, or communing with others.
We need to remember that not everyone fits in the same box. We each have our own experiences and should show patience and love to each other - foregoing the judgement.
For those experiencing trauma... practice patience with yourself. It takes quite a while to deal with those emotions and feel like you're moving forward!