How to get the toddler to eat when he refuses his own food... make a plate for yourself (it can be the exact same thing) and he comes running to eat YOUR food. tongue out At least he's eating, right? wink

Some people think that I am just too literal and strict in my thinking to have a sense of humor. However, words can be very hurtful - more to some than for others. "Just joking" does not begin to erase name calling or saying stuff that was never funny.

I spent the last two weeks visiting my grand kids... while I was gone, my emotional support horse got depressed and quit eating a couple of days ago! shock

He was quite happy to see me today, ate his grain and followed me when I left the barn like "don't leave me!" I love him and I guess the feeling is mutual! two hearts

Acceptance of things that I cannot change is something that I have struggled with over the years.

Early on, I had to accept that I could not get a horse as a child. It just was not feasible in a military life. I am so thankful that my Dad got me a horse when he retired (I was 18) and I’ve been able to keep one ever since!

I had to accept that my eye sight would progressively deteriorate due to Retinitis Pigmentosa. I have been extremely grateful that that deterioration has been very slow and I still have good central vision at 45+ when most are blind by this time!

I had to accept that the horse industry tanked after my first marriage and my dream of breeding and training horses (for income) was over. I am thankful that I was able to breed and train a couple of wonderful horses, but I had planned on so much more! I have had to accept financial struggles, health issues, mental health issues, family issues, and even the weather as being out of my control.

I have had to accept that it is ok to plan to do projects and work toward your goals, but that life gets in the way and those plans and goals sometimes have to be placed on hold… and, sometimes, it seems that those dreams will never, ever happen. However, we do not know what the future brings or what wonderful things the Lord has planned for us. I have learned that those plans and dreams may not be over. .. they may change a little or it could just be on hold due to things that I cannot change. Yet… acceptance is still something I struggle with!

This morning I am grateful for the rain. The farmer's fields and pastures were looking very thirsty! I'm thankful for a cool morning so we can to turn off the air conditioning for a couple of hours. I'm also very thankful to have a working air conditioner! I can tolerate 30 below far better than 90+ tongue out

I'm grateful that we don't have the humidity that some states have - I'd be completely useless! I'm grateful that the nights cool down... when I lived in the mountains of California (with no air conditioning shock ), days would be over 100 and still in the 90s at night. No humidity, but I was m.i.s.e.r.a.b.l.e! My ex made fun of me... until he had a massive heat stroke and could no longer tolerate the heat himself. Kinda ironic.

So much to be grateful for this morning!

I love the supplements I am on! They really help my mood and keep me more balanced so I experience fewer anxiety attacks. We'll be testing the anxiety this summer though... Bob is close to getting his private pilot license (under four hours left and two tests wide eyed ) and he'll be taking me for a ride when he finishes.

My first ride or two or three will be short, but we have plans to fly to a small landing strip close to my oldest and back at some point. It should be fun... IF my anxiety stays away... we'll see... he knows that I have trouble just being in an elevator (he's seen my death grip on the bar and me turn white if it wiggles when people move). But, I HAVE been feeling more confident and adventurous this past year... I guess we'll see if that holds! smile

My children were taught what I thought were basic life skills... now they meet 30 and 40 year olds who are clueless about how to do simple stuff (like cleaning a counter and not just pushing dirt around tongue out) and are dumb founded.

The biggest complaint against my grown kids? They don't know how to relate with people their own age! Why would they? They have more life skills and don't care about today's fashion or the newest TV show. tongue out I guess all I can say is: Sorry, not sorry wink

I told Bob about this upcoming event last night. He looked at my quizzically and asked: Do you really want to go to a CAR show on your BIRTHDAY?

I love that I can still surprise him from time to time. smile I did tell him that I do like looking at the cars. Even if I don't really know anything about one from another, I can appreciate the effort the people put into restoring and keeping their cars in excellent shape. Besides, the place has a restored carousel... wink

I asked him: I thought it would be something you would enjoy... don't you want to go?

His response was: well, yeah...

So, we are planning on going to a car show on my birthday and enjoy the shiny cars... you know, so I can see a carousel (that, honestly, we could go see at any time) wink

I am feeling STRONG today. smile We had our first load of 100 bales of hay delivered last night. I stacked all of it (more than half of it is in the shed) this morning... by myself... without hurting my back, without hurting my shoulder, AND without an asthma attack! Woo-hoo! I had no idea I would be able to do it (I'm usually struggling around 30 bales). So, yeah, I'm pretty happy with myself. smile

Of course, I might not be feeling so strong tomorrow when by body revolts tomorrow and I can't move easily... but, today is a win and I'll take it! wink

So true! My youngest works at a travel center... a place that you would expect to start at minimum wage. Yet, they offer full time positions, a flexible schedule, benefits, ability to move up the ladder, and though the starting pay for a cashier position is below the dreamed $15 mark it is close (if you count the benefits - most don't - it is more). Still, there are many people that get hired there complaining that the work is too hard... while being reminded for the 100th time to Put. The. Phone. Away! I told my youngest to let them know that the meat packaging plant was paying $15/hr... maybe they'd prefer that job, since it pays what they want... of course, they'd have to actually WORK to get it tongue out

Regardless if you volunteer or earn $3 or $20, you should take pride in your work and not expect to be paid to simply show up, which seems to be the prevailing attitude. blank expression

Here's a rant to enjoy...

One of my youngest's co-workers pulled a "no call, no show" and didn't answer a dozen calls to remind him to come in. He has been working there for several months and this is his second offense. He doesn't want to be in trouble about it because "he forgot" he was scheduled and life should just move on.

So, we were brainstorming about this forgetful attitude. How far can we go in "I forgot" with no consequence? How about...

  • I forgot you can't drive/text and drive
  • I forgot my driver's license
  • I forgot to get insurance
  • I forgot to renew my tags
  • I forgot to check the speed limit
  • I forgot that my kid was in the back seat
  • I forgot to pay for the item I'm walking out of the store with
  • I forgot that you can't stab a person to death
  • I forgot that you have to actually feed the kids and pets
What do you think?

Today I decided to say "no". And immediately had the worst anxiety attack of the year. ugh.

Bob is ready to take his flight test. He's been looking forward to today for weeks and today is the PERFECT weather to fly!

The downside is that I found out last night that one of my aunts is visiting my Dad. I had no advance notice. I had to decide if it was more important to me to have Bob drop his plans to take his test in order to visit with someone I barely know for the sake of family and have him wishing he were flying the entire time or let him go.

So, I told Bob to go fly and said no to the impromptu invitation. Now, my stomach is upset, I have a headache, and feel like I've done far too much work. Thankfully, the trembling only lasted half an hour. Sigh. I do think it would have been more difficult on me asking Bob to wait - even though he would not make me feel guilty about it! smile Still... Saying "no" can be super hard!

I made banana bread last night. I've given some to the neighbor before and they loved it. So, I sent a message and offered to bring them some this morning. Well, that idea got post-poned thanks to my anxiety attack tongue out I was feeling a bit better this evening and took it on over, thinking that I would hand it over and run (my usual).

I knocked on the front door, but there was no answer. I had heard voices though, so I went to knock on the back door. I found a strange man there and my first thoughts were: did I wander into the wrong yard? did the neighbors move? how am I going to explain myself? But, a familiar dog came running over, followed by a familiar face. I sighed in relief and handed over the treat. smile

But, then, he invited me into the open garage to visit with his friend and wife. A new area... with new people.... by myself? gulp. I do believe I squeaked. I did go in though and enjoyed the visit. smile

I can hardly wait to tell Bob, who, after taking his practice flight this morning decided he needs more practice, which is what he is doing now, before taking his test. Hopefully, he can get Tuesday off and do it then as he wants to get it done asap now that he's done all of the requirements. smile

I shared with Bob a few nights ago that I don't quite know why I have such a hard time with self-confidence. I mean, I placed myself between two rearing draft horse stallions with just a pitch fork in my hand and demanded that the one return to his pen (he snorted at me and left). I can stand up to a horse, but wilt around humans... he told me that that is because it is illegal to wave a pitchfork at an unruly human! laugh

Guess who's a pilot now?! Woo-hoo! celebration (the shirt was a father's day gift smile )

I didn't get to fly today as the wind picked up, but we're making plans for the weekend. wink

More good news... Bob also had his four year review and the big boss called him up with a promotion offer. So, now that Bob's done with aviation school, he gets to start learning for a new position in the company. cool

My cute, micro garden is doing well (I refer to it as a "micro garden" because I used to have 3000+ square feet to work with! wink ). The zucchini is starting to bloom, the lettuce and collard greens are almost big enough to eat, and I picked a whole FOUR pea pods laugh (I obviously need a much bigger plot for peas!) I planted more lettuce and beets to extend my harvesting time. And the marigolds are not only pretty, but have done a decent job in keeping the bunnies away! It isn't much, but it makes me smile. smile

Bob came home tonight and asked: do you want to fly? smile

We flew around the town. My anxiety didn't spike much at all - no squeaks, no gasps, no claw marks, no motion sickness. I actually did pretty well (if I do say so myself) smile I'm glad that I can share this joy with Bob energy

My cleaning buddy - he stayed right with me through six wheelbarrow loads smile

I told my oldest that I need to clean the garage because I feel like it is starting to close in on me... she laughed. There IS still floor space... wink It does need cleaned before I can paint again tongue out