Bob asked how I felt about turning 51 years old. My response is that my 50th year was very long and full of challenges that I hope to never experience again. I am grateful to leave it behind and look forward to discovering what the Lord has in store for me as this next year unfolds. 
I have been on progestin for four months and chelated iron for two months now. Yesterday, I was given tangible evidence that I am, indeed, feeling much better!
You see, our last hay delivery of 80+ bales was three weeks ago. Between the bales being heavier than typical, the weather being a challenge in work in, and my physical weakness, it took 3 days (with some help) to get the bales off of the trailer and most in the shed... there are still a dozen outside to be fed that I ran out of energy for before the rain came. I was nearly in tears by the end because I was in pain that lasted several days.
Yesterday, though, I unloaded the same size trailer and stacked it all in
the shed (by myself) in just one day! 
The bales were lighter than the previous
load (normal weight) and the weather was perfect for me to be working outside
in, but the fact that I did it all in one day is still quite the achievement
for me! I am a little sore today, but not the tears that I expected. 
Bob
and I are thrilled with this improvement (especially since he has thrown his
back out and not able to help as much as he normally does)!
I have also realized that this is the second trailer load in a row that I
have been on the very top of the hay stack while the trailer was shifting under
my movement and experienced zero anxiety. On the first load, I was even arranging
a tarp to cover the hay on my own (not due to lack of help, but because I wanted
to see if I could)! It is super wonderful to not feel the debilitating anxiety
swoop in, making it difficult to move... let alone breathe!
One more trailer load for tomorrow, I think, and the shed will be full...
for a few months any way. 
It is my hope that this emerging confidence will
continue to manifest itself while climbing into the saddle... 
Someone asked me today what my greatest challenge in running my business is.
I replied balance and consistency. However, now that I'm thinking more about
it, I am very consistent... I am consistently inconsistent! 
Of course, for now, "business" is on the back burner until I finish
up the outdoor priority projects. For some reason, my brain doesn't work well
when I am physically exhausted. 
The good news is: The hay shed is full! It is also the first time that I have
not needed help getting the top row done!
Next up: weeds, clean the garage, and barn cleaning. I can't quite do the
fencing on my own, so I might actually get that biz to do list back out before
the snow flies...
I started the day by shattering a glass on the floor and getting a glass splinter embedded in my foot. Thankfully, Bob was able to extract it before he had to go to work.
Yesterday started with painful muscle spasms in my hands (how can such small muscles cause so much pain?!).
This quote "Today might be the opportunity for you to change your tomorrow"
may not quite apply to my recent mornings, but I find it encouraging none the
less.
I asked Bob to move the manure pile over the weekend. Just two scoops in, gas started pouring onto the ground. He stopped the leak, but a valve needs replaced before he can move the tractor again.
Bob working on the tractor reminded me of the last tractor project that he
did that I never shared about, so I'll share the story now.
Bob was retrofitting a secondary hydraulic pump when a chain got wrapped around his hydraulic oil covered finger. He quickly jerked his hand back before serious injury occurred and flicked his hand. That flicking motion caused his wedding ring to go sailing into the tall grass. He couldn't believe he had done that when he has been so careful to avoid doing just that thing after the first time he had to search for his band just weeks after we were married!
He came into the house, washed his hands and grabbed the metal detector. However, it didn't work as it was full of water from the basement flood. He spent some time looking in the area he thought it went, but found nothing.
With a sinking heart, he went back to the tractor. While working, he felt compelled to look up and could see his ring glint in the sunlight! He immediately said a quick prayer of thanksgiving and retrieved his ring.
I told him that his guardian angel must have tapped his shoulder and whispered
"Look". Bob thinks so too.
After six treatments trying to kill the mold in my english saddle, I have decided to part with it. The Australian saddle seems to be mold free, but the leather now needs some serious deep conditioning.
It was a little sad parting with the saddle as it was the first (and only) saddle that I purchased for myself - all others have been gifts. I bought it when I was taking a horsemanship certification course available through a local vocational college back in 1992.
Both of my kids learned about balance while riding in this saddle, along with an introduction to english versus western horsemanship. It was also used as a starter saddle on several young horses that I trained.
However, my youngest helped soothe the sting of losing this treasure by bring home something that he knew has been on my wishlist since he was a child: a synthetic all-purpose english saddle with a flex tree (adjusts to the width of the horses back with less padding required)! It is super light and in excellent condition!
We are very excited about this new addition to our tack collection. (the picture
is of the new saddle) 
Now for the kittens to move out of the enclosed porch so it can move out of
the kitchen into the area where we plan the tack room to be without fear of
cats using it as a scratching post (as they have done with my western saddle
) or peeing all over it (as they did to a winter blanket last year)....
I told the family that, if this keeps up, I might end up not liking cats very
much. They all just laughed knowing that I love them too much for that.
Unexpected, expensive repairs are never fun to deal with. However, once you can move past the anxiety, frustration and tears, there is often something to be grateful for...
Late yesterday afternoon, my youngest went to a city about an hour away to look at a possible replacement truck (his now has over 200k and the engine is showing signs of wear).
The truck was nice, but a little over budget so he asked for a trade-in offer.
When the mechanic came back from his inspection, he said that the brakes were dragging. Since they were working just fine on arrival, suspensions of tampering were suspected.
Since we do not have a way to tow the truck, it was obvious that a towing company would have to be involved. Yet, none were available until this morning. That left a difficult decision. Leave the truck overnight and risk vandalism, theft, and/or impounding or lose a day of work?
Bob was asked to go rescue him so that he could go to work this morning and deal with the problem after work.
When Bob arrived, he checked the brakes. The fronts were grinding. Yet, he thought it would make it home if they took it slow since the damage had already been done... until the third trip around the parking lot when the brake fluid started leaking and the rear brakes seized.
Just as they were deciding to leave for home, the tow company let them know that they were on their way. The tow man by-passed the dispatch, who decided that there wasn't enough staff to handle such a lengthy trip, and called the boss, who said to take the job! What a relief! We are grateful to have the truck home.
The conclusion is that no tampering had been done after all. This was likely caused by the brakes over-heating in the mountains while hauling the classic car from Oregon. And it was circumstantial that they failed when they did. New brakes were put on the truck before the trip and we didn't think to check them after arriving home because there didn't seem to be a problem.
I thought that some warning was given before a brake failure like this, but Bob said that the newer vehicles with computer controls don't give the warnings that older vehicles do. Brake failure is quite sudden like this. Scary! The truck will require a complete brake job - including new calipers and rotors.
We are immensely grateful that the brakes failed after arriving at the destination and before getting back on the road! We are grateful that they didn't fail on the steep mountain grades (that would be terrorizing!). We are grateful that no accidents occurred and no one was hurt.
We are grateful that Bob is able to do the work. We are grateful to have a garage to work in. We are grateful that it is August and not December, making the work much easier to do.
We are grateful that my youngest has some savings to work with. It was for feeding horses, but the shed is full and the additional that we will need will be provided later.
It is obvious to us that my youngest's guardian angel was, once again, doing his duty of keeping him safe. For He will give His angels charge over you, to keep you in all your ways Psalm 91:11
We are grateful.
Bob and I typically watch sci-fi or comedy when we're together. When he's gone, I normally prefer the quiet. It has been a number of years since I've wanted to watch my old movies. However, Bob has recently been gone a few nights that I wanted to watch one of these old movies. I could watch one on my computer, but I wanted to lay on the couch.
When Bob came home I asked him if the DVD player for the TV still worked so that he could teach me how to use it (he had done a bunch of changes on the computer attached to the TV so the settings were different).
He was surprised to learn that I still have movies on DVD that have not been backed up in a digital file (I did most of my movies the first year we were together, but they were on VHS and I skipped the DVDs). It hadn't been a priority to me because they are mostly horse-themed shows and I had been avoiding watching them so that I wouldn't feel like doing horse stuff. Well, now that we have our own place, with the horses right here, and I feel like doing horse stuff again, there is no longer a reason to avoid watching horse movies.
Well, Bob has fixed my dilemma and backed up my DVDs. And has given me a set of folders on his computer attached to the TV, with network access to my computer, so I can watch/add/delete my movies whenever I want.
I feel so special!
(the image is just a sampling of the horse-themed shows we have )
Last night, the dogs were barking incessantly for over half an hour. It was obvious that it was more than the cats running around or the 101 other things that they enjoy barking about.
During that time, we looked several times for what they were going on about. Then, as I was standing on the deck contemplating their demise, I heard snap... snap... snap... and suddenly realized what the commotion was all about.
We had put up a new bug zapper outside the garage and the dogs were sure there
was danger! 
They were able to relax once Bob unplugged it.
I am grateful that they were alerting us to "danger"... hopefully,
next time, we'll be able to figure out what the "danger" is sooner!
I know the neighbors would appreciate it if we did...
I am achieving my goals for the month (for the first time this year)!
Fill the shed with hay
Clean out the barn
Cut down the tall weeds
Update this blog
Start Being Creative Again